I've lost my friends. I've had this on my mind before all the things suddenly happen. They've found new family, new friends, and forget me already.
well, I can't hide my tears when I remember our laughter, our sad times, crazy times, galau times, and even my anger that can never be seen by them.
I don't know whether I've had any mistake to them or not. they never tell me anything now, never share either their sadness or happiness, laugh about something funny in front of me without telling me what that was. just like that was their own world, not mine. forget all the things about me. at first I felt this okay because I know every people have their own business'. but time answers my feeling, they've gone with their new world, new business, new friends and family.
am I feeling jealousy? yes, maybe. I have no more friends left but my mother. I have no business like theirs. I'm feeling stupid how I want them have a little time to talk to me, to listen to me now. they have their word to reject me "Sorry, I'm busy, as you know, BEM business". or when I ask "what is this about?" and their answer is "it is what happened in BEM". "BEM", something they push me to join but rejected by themselves.
well, it's okay. I will not take them when I die, they will never remember me when my time end. but I am still their friend whenever they need me, although I know I can't have them when I need a friend to talk to.
